Our forests are burning, it seems like the entire area of Ontario is burning. And if you look at this map here, you can see that there are dozens and dozens of extreme burning fires all the way up to Lake Simcoe. But it seems like most of them are in the internal part of Ontario, and I have no ide why there are so many, burning so fiercely. Clicking through them it seems like most of them are being observed and a very few are under control.

These fires are affecting our First Nations communities vastly disproportionate. All but one of the 13 evacuated communities are FN, and more than 1,800 people have had to flee. I caught a segment on the CBC about one of the elders saying that Southern Ontario will need to be prepared to house maybe ten thousand people by the end of the season. Ya’ll we’re not even in August yet.

What happened was that there were bad dry conditions for weeks before the sever thunderstorms came in and delivered lightening strikes to our boreal forests. Then we had a nasty heat wave and high winds that essentially fanned the flames across the province.

North of Thunder Bay is a huge fire burning, more than 3 thousand square kilometers. It is the 12^th largest fire recorded. Here you can see some footage. The devastation is immense.

And what follows forests burning? Terrible air quality. Toronto had the worst air quality in the world last week. The same week that my kiddo was sick at home with a stomach bug. In part that really sucked, because it’s hard to manage life with a sick kiddo. But secondly, I was glad he was with me because the sky was literally orange. I was able to turn on the HEPA air filter and between that, new Legos and too much screen time, we managed.

There’s something about having him close during inclement weather that sets my anxiety at ease. And the silver lining was that I was schedule to play some padel with some friends, but the air quality was so bad that everything was cancelled. There’s these new courts that use padel booking software so it’s incredibly easy to use, and I had already booked the courts the week before. But literally everything outdoors was cancelled. So I guess the timing worked out, but man do I miss running around, goofing off outside.

My kiddo is back to daycare again. And the winds have changed, so Toronto’s air is breathable. And today happens to be lovely, low humidity and clear skies. But I can’t quite help but think that this will be a reoccurring catastrophe for my child growing up. That summer will be always riddle with indoor days. I hate it and can’t remember this happening to me growing up.

Recently I went to the Baby Show that happens twice a year in Toronto with a friend, she’s a birth doula that mainly likes to do home births. She’s pretty cool.  I think she wanted to go and scope out products that a lot of her clients use or want to buy. Woah was it an assault on the senses. It was Exhibition Place which is close to nothing and a pain in the ass to get to. Thankfully I hopped on my bike and rode down there because trying to get there on transit takes forever. So, the show is in this massive building that sits close to Lake Ontario.

It was not my favourite. Why? Because of all the stuff you apparently need for a baby. So. Much. Stuff. It was incredible, I had no idea. Strollers and car seats and organic clothing??? Diapers and toys and special hand sanitizer?? Preserving stem cells, sippy cups, and baby’s first toy box? The booths were filled with stuff. Hell, even Volvo was there offering test drives for their SUVs. I would never have thought about it, but that is super smart of them. New parents are shelling out wads of cash, so why not buy a new car when your infant comes? Nothing says welcoming a child like going into debt.

It was insane. How is it possible that we need to buy so much stuff? Certainty babies don’t need the stuff, right? They’re so tiny… it must help parents to feel more comfortable to buy stuff before one of life’s biggest transitions. Buying stuff typically makes us humans feel good… so it’s no wonder that pregnancy and babies makes people go crazy buying really expensive things. Have you ever looked into a new Uppa baby stroller??? Don’t.

But there was one booth there that I really resonated with, and they were not hawking stuff. They were Doulas on Bikes, and they were selling services for postpartum and birth support here in Toronto. Better yet, they are environmentally friendly and literally ride to their clients on bikes! Bikes and doulas?? It was super cool. Anyone who has ever biked around town knows that it is often faster than driving, especially if you are in rush hour. But how cool is it to incorporate sustainable living into their business model?

Marj and I walked around for a bit, she stopped and talked to the sisters at Doulas on Bikes too. I just meandered through the tons of stalls all seemingly selling the same stuff. Surely you don’t need a 40$ onesies? Babies grow so fast that all these super cute clothes will only really fit them for like a hot second. Also what’s with the beige? I know that aesthetic is super popular on a IG reel but what kid wants brown and tan clothes and toys? Its weird.

So, my hot take on the Baby Show? Well, I won’t be going back. But I guess it was good to see the insanity surrounding babies. I would much rather spend my time outside than inside anyways.

Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadows. It’s what sunflowers do – Helen Keller

Growing up I hated sunflowers, funny I know. But it’s not because of how they looked or their endearing qualities but how they made my skin feel.

Growing up we had two patches of dirt in our backyard and in one of them my mother would always plant sunflowers. Now, as an adult I can understand why she would, they are mystical and gorgeous. But I never really liked them because at the end of the season I would be tasked with clearing out the garden and those dratted sunflowers would always give me hives.

They would grow to be so tall, that I would have to use shears to cut them into pieces to fit inside the brown paper garden-waste bag. So that meant handling each one multiple times, trying to break their steam either with my hands or the shears. Without fail the leaves and the stalks themselves would always run all over my arms and hands and itchy nasty little hives would always break out.

Why wouldn’t I wear long sleeves? Because I would get all hot, sweaty and itchy regardless. I would try to tell my mother that I would break out every time I tore these down but she didn’t seem to care and scolded me back to the garden.

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Looking back, it’s not really the sunflowers fault, but for a long time I was put off by the garden. Another reason why was because one of my chores was to water the gardens in the summer. And seemingly I would never do it well enough.

Now I think these memories have more to say about my mother and I’s relationship than my relationship with green things in general. But it’s really too bad that I despised working with living things for so long. Because now- now that I do not have some soil at my disposal and that I have a young son makes me nostalgic about my time growing up in the great outdoors.

And now that winter’s slowly making it’s exit and my son’s a bit older I feel this push to get his hads dirty too (but without the hives). I’m anticipating what type of plants I should start from seed this year, what types of herbs I should put in my window boxes and exactly how crazy I should go with raised beds in my little apartment patio. So stay tuned and I promise that later this year there will be pics of my balcony gardens and maybe a sunflower or two.